Data Sickos Recap: Texas Children's Houston Open

Mike Barton

Mike Barton

— 5 min read
Data Sickos Recap: Texas Children's Houston Open

(Graphics, scorecards, and videos are best viewed on web)

A couple weeks after I whined about a robotic Cam Young victory at The Players, Gary Woodland won this week in one of the most emotional victories in recent memory. Look at this – Min Woo Lee is hyping up the crowd for his playing partner's walk up the 18th. You gotta love this!

The roller coaster round of the week was David Lipsky on Thursday who carded 12 non-pars in 18 holes, including seven on the back nine. And I hate to tell you, only one of those was a birdie.

The most heartbreaking moment of the tournament by far came on Sunday when Garrick Higgo bogeyed the 18th hole after making 17 pars in a row. This is my personal nightmare, the clean sheet is one of my favorite statistical accomplishments in golf – it's not super uncommon for someone in a tournament to have 17 pars in a round, the last two recaps we have done have had 17-par rounds. But this is the first I've seen with 17 in a row and a blunder on the last hole.

Pontus Nyholm also made 17 pars on Thursday but in significantly less-heartbreaking fashion, one birdie on the 12th hole.

Jake Knapp had the most extreme holes of anyone in the tournament, finishing with four eagles and two doubles (within a three hole stretch on Saturday).

There were three hole-in-ones on three different holes this week! Houston native Cole Hammer got things going with an ace at the 15th hole on Thursday. Shane Lowry (this week's Mr. Consistent with 56/72 pars) made one on the 2nd hole and Adam Scott made his on the 11th, both on Sunday.

It was a bit of a disappointing week on the Garbage Time side of things with no player having a nine-hole score in the 20s and no player threatening either the 50s or 80s. But that doesn't mean there wasn't plenty to laugh at...

Brooks Koepka made three double bogeys in a four-hole stretch on Thursday and missed the cut. Not the kind of momentum he's hoping to carry into Augusta. (Insert joke about how he should consider carrying a yardage book.)

Billy Horschel had by far the most insane stretch of golf during this tournament on Friday. After opening his round with three pars (he started on #10), he proceeds to do the following:

13) Bogey
14) Double
15) Bogey
16) Eagle
17) Bogey
18) Birdie
1) Bogey
2) Birdie
3) Bogey

Traditionally, we don't count a bogey --> double --> bogey towards the Michael Scott Snip-Snap-Snip-Snap Reverse Vasectomy Award but this was too good not to share. He would have won the award even without it, but the opening sequence makes it even better.

Oh, he also settled down and made three birdies in a row on 6, 7, and 8 to come in with a 33 on the front.

Kris Ventura made a TEN on the 13th hole...without a single penalty stroke. I haven't been able to find video of it outside of the shot tracker, but here's what I gather: Pipes his drive 290 yards in the fairway, approaches to the right of the green on his second, skulls one over the green, dribbles both his fourth and fifth shots, skulls his sixth back to the landing spot of his second, skulls it back to the landing spot of his third, fourth, and fifth, gets the monkey off his back on the eighth by hitting to 17 feet, prudently lags his ninth, and taps in the tenth.

@PGA – RELEASE THE FOOTAGE

Every week, I compare the pre-tournament odds for players with their final finishing position to see who defied expectations the most.

Overperformers:
T10. Bronson Burgoon, -12 (+106 spots, simply refuse to believe this is a real name)
T14. Pontus Nyholm, -10 (+102 spots)
T19. Karl Vilips, -9 (+97 spots)

Underperformers:
T60. Kurt Kitayama, -1 (-52 spots)
T60. Sungjae Im, -1 (-28 spots)
74. Matti Schmid, +5 (-25 spots)

Trying to hold in an absolutely terrible Matti SchMID joke

Other Sports Stuff

Here's my favorite stuff from around the sports world over the past week.

Screw this week, this might be one of my top-5 favorite sports moments of all time. Duke hilariously lost one what is instantly one of the most iconic March Madnesses finishes ever. And their radio crew immediately goes Hall Monitor Mode and starts whining that a technical should been called because UConn was celebrating in an uncouth manner.

AS CALLED ON UConn Huskies radio by Mike Crispino Duke radio by David Shumate Westwood One by Scott Graham

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— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog.xyz) March 29, 2026 at 7:31 PM
[Highlight] Freddie Freeman gets a hug from Ketel Marte to end the inning
by u/kurruchi in baseball

Hannah Hidalgo finishes with a triple double! 31 points, 11 rebounds, 10 steals, 7 assists Only one player has had more than 10 steals in the NCAA tournament, Ticha Penicheiro for Old Dominion in 1998 www.sports-reference.com/stathead/tin... @sports-reference.com

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— Garbage Time Sports (@garbagetimesports.bsky.social) March 27, 2026 at 4:46 PM

For our final two entries, the sound must be ON. The first is my favorite Crack-Of-Da-Bat this season.

Eugenio Suárez crushes a 3-run bomb 109.6 MPH, 431 feet

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— MLB Daily News (@insidemlbnews.bsky.social) March 29, 2026 at 3:33 PM

Apparently Gen Z is into nu-metal? I have seen a resurgence online of the youngsters talking about Korn and it has finally made its way to Major League Baseball. This rips. The kids are alright.

Mason Miller of the San Diego Padres takes field to “Blind” by Korn at Petco Park in San Diego, California (2026)

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— crazy ass moments in nu metal history (@numetalmoment.bsky.social) March 28, 2026 at 11:52 PM

Thanks for reading! As always, please share with anyone you think might be interested in this kind of nonsense!

-Mike

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